he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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