also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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