on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
