he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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