I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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