I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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