Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize