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the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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