there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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