My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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