Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
