Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
