I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
