Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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