It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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