I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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