well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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