Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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