Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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