And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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