I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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