Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
