I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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