Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
