Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
only you would photoshop your dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
