there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
