fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
