I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
