ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize