Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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