so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
