I like my sex mixed with concussions.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
