420 ftw
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
