after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
