Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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