I wish I could teleport
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
