Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
