I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
