I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
