The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize