sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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