I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
