I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
