Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
