i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think a kid would responsible me up
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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