life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize