Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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