i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
