the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Houston, we have a blender
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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