i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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