New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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