who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize