I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
