We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I love black thongs
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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