It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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