I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
