Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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